All the Teens are Seemingly on Crack (and more): Riverdale Season 2 Episode 2 Recap

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What’s the first thing you do when your father has been falsely accused of murder? You call someone named Penny Peabody to try to lessen his sentence. What’s better than the name Penny Peabody? A drug called “jingle jangle.”

So long story short, episode two of Riverdale‘s sophomore season is whack.

But let’s get down to business: Pop wants to sell his diner. Yeah, the same diner where Fred Andrews (Luke Perry of Beverly Hills, 90210 fame) was almost murdered in. Makes sense right? Wrong! Everyone loves Pop Tate’s Chock’lit Shoppe! It is a staple in the fictional town of Riverdale and is visited in at LEAST two scenes of every episode. So of course, Betty (Lili Reinhart) and Veronica (Camila Mendes) throw a benefit at the diner to raise money. Remember Dark Betty from season one’s “Chapter Three: Body Double?” Yeah, well she’s back for a vengeance when she blackmails Cheryl (Madelaine Petsch) (and the River Vixens) into helping out with the benefit AND into testifying for Jughead’s father, F.P. Jones (which ends up helping him!)

And while we’re at it, let’s not forget to mention that Hiram Lodge (Mark Consuelos) bought Pop’s diner, Archie (KJ Apa) got a gun from Dilton Doiley (Remember when he was the one who shot a gun on the Fourth of July…? Yeah…), and Moose Mason and Midge Klump were conveniently murdered by Sweetwater River (the same place where Jason Blossom’s body was found last season) under the influence of jingle-jangle presumably by the same person who killed Archie’s ex-teacher/lover Geraldine Grundy and shot his dad??? Got all that?

But don’t worry. If that wasn’t enough drama for you, there will be plenty more next week with the episode titled “Watcher in the Woods.”

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“I’m Not Crazy, I’m Confident”: Survivor Season Premiere

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“Survivor” , CBS

Well, I hope you all have a bag of popcorn, your favorite candy, and a nice glass of water so you can have a few momentous spit takes while watching Wednesday night’s episode of Survivor.

Survivor has been on for a shocking 35 seasons, but for those who are unaware of the premise, here’s a quick summary: A group of strangers are dropped on an island with no food, no water, and quite frankly no hope for almost 40 days as they compete in reward challenges, immunity challenges, and vote each other out in the beloved Tribal Council. Along the way, there are potential opportunities to find Hidden Immunity Idols which can be used to negate votes at a Tribal Council.

This season’s focus is Heroes v. Healers v. Hustlers, with some familiar faces on the Heroes Tribe, including 1988 Olympian Katrina Radke and football cornerback Alan Ball (more on him later).

Episode 1 focuses on days one to three, and typically game play is slow moving at this stage. As made clear on tonight’s episode, this group of 18 players does not follow the unspoken Survivor rules. To be blunt, this cast is nuts. I don’t know where the production team found these people, but they sure did search high and low for some potentially psychotic contestants. Case in point: previously mentioned Alan made his tribe mate and alliance member JP LITERALLY TAKE OFF HIS UNDERWEAR in the middle of the night to prove that the man was not hiding a damn hidden immunity idol?!?!?! Alan, are you aware that the game has just started? In a typical episode of Survivor, someone pulling crazy stunts like that would be the number one target to evict off the island. But as I said, 20 minutes into this episode and any Survivor fan can tell this is not a typical season. So with that in mind, of course no one on Alan’s tribe thinks he’s crazy and no one has the intention to get rid of him?? Because they all want to work with a man with crazy eyes who has severe trust issues. He might be on the wrong show.

Things only get better. At the immunity challenge, the Heroes are sucking ass and come in dead last. So at this point the Hustlers and Healers tribes don’t really exist since no drama is happening with them. And after the Heroes lose, tribe member Chrissy vomits in front of everyone and then lays down next to it??? Is no one on this show going to address that??

As I mentioned, this episode is primarily focused on days one-three. Yet go-getter Ryan from the Hustlers tribe, who has found a special hidden immunity idol, has the brilliant idea to give someone on the Heroes tribe an idol to “shake things up”??? Usually, in order to shake things up, things have to actually be happening. Less than two days ago you were sipping margaritas on the damn beach, Ryan. There is nothing to “shake up” at this point. In his defense, this idol is different than the others. Usually idols must be played after the votes have been written, but before they are read. This idol is specifically intended for the first Tribal Council ONLY, can be used AFTER the votes have been read, and since Ryan’s Hustler tribe won immunity, he must give it to a member of the losing Heroes tribe.

Remember Chrissy, the woman who vomited at the immunity challenge? Yeah, for some reason Ryan secretly gave this idol to her.

Jump forward to the first Tribal Council: the Heroes tribe is already a wreck and no one seems to know how the vote will go. Chrissy and Katrina are seen as outsiders for not being in the “core four” alliance of Alan, JP, JP’s potential romantic interest Ashley (do these people not realize this isn’t The Bachelor??), and Ben. Alan mentions how he is scared JP and Ashley are becoming a power couple on day three of this game because clearly he doesn’t know how to play Survivor.

Long story short, Katrina is the first one voted out in a 5-1 vote. Come on, Chrissy! You got a once in a lifetime special hidden immunity idol and you don’t even use it, even though she was in your two-person alliance and it could’ve saved your ass down the line?? Disappointing.

So on that note, make sure you have some popcorn for episode two, because at the rate this is going, this season of Survivor is going to be a wild one.

Young Sheldon Falls Prey to Cliché: Series Premiere Recap

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“Young Sheldon” , CBS

After ten years, some viewers may think they’ve seen all sides of The Big Bang Theory’s (BBT) Sheldon Cooper. Clearly, they haven’t heard of Young Sheldon, which premiered Monday night following BBT’s 11th season premiere.

Viewers are taken back to 1989 (and no I’m not talking about Taylor Swift’s 2014 album)  into the life of nine year old Cooper as he begins high school. BBT age Sheldon is still here though, as Jim Parsons, who plays Sheldon on BBT, is the narrator. We are introduced to the younger versions of Sheldon’s mom, Mary (Zoe Perry, who is the real life daughter of Laurie Metcalf who plays Mary in BBT) and twin sister, Missy, who were seen in the prequel series. For the first time, we are shown Sheldon’s father, George Sr., the local football coach, and Sheldon’s brother George Jr., or Georgie. As you might have been able to guess, since Sheldon is the brains of the family, he doesn’t get along well with Missy and Georgie, who are jealous of the attention he receives due to his intelligence.

Sheldon’s first day of high school doesn’t go so smoothly. In classic Sheldon fashion, he is quick to embarrass Georgie and call out students who are not adhering by the dress code, which leads to his parents being called to the principal’s office to discuss Sheldon’s behavior.

That night before dinner, George Sr. talks with Sheldon about how crucial it is to not be so concerned with everyone else’s life. In a touching moment, George shares an anecdote about how he was fired from his last job for tattling on fellow coaches. This storyline matches up to Sheldon’s current situation a little too well to be convincing, but is a sweet father-son moment nonetheless. At dinner, Sheldon even holds his father’s hand in a sense of consideration.

And there you have it, folks. The eventful, roller coaster ride that is the pilot episode of Young Sheldon. A little corny, perhaps. But a good watch? You decide.