Tuesday night saw the continuation of a few network comedy favorites which, despite my written schedule, did not include the season premiere of ABC’s The Middle (as you can tell by the night’s illustration). The primetime lineup did, however, include FOX’s Scream Queens and New Girl with both episodes centering around terrifying subjects; serial murder and the 2016 Presidential Election.
The second episode of this season’s SQ picked up with a terrified Chanel #5 (Abigail Breslin) recounting the story of “Werewolf Girl” (Cecily Strong)’s decapitation by the “Green Meanie” (I’d rather call it the Swamp Monster because I’m pretty sure that’s what it’s supposed to be). Much to nobody’s surprise, Chanel #5’s story isn’t believed by anyone, including her two cohorts Chanel and #3. Damn Ryan Murphy! Back at it again with the well-executed parody of classic horror tropes!
Anyway, things take an interesting turn when an unnecessary love interest is thrown into the mix; a guy named Tyler (or Ryan? Chad? It was something really white, I know that much) who suffers from a skin mutation. And because this character was pretty pointless, I’m going to spoil his fate: he’s killed by the Swamp Monster while receiving a laser removal surgery. Chanel #5’s world is crushed. 80’s music plays.
The most important parts of the episode are headlined by Zayday (KeKe Palmer), the only character with common sense, searching for clues to tie together her theory that Munsch only opened C.U.R.E. (the hospital) to get all the people from the last murder mystery together in order to off them one by one. Accompanied by Chamberlain, a candy striper who is way too old to be candy striper, she’s able to get her hands on a few old records that unearth a Halloween bloodbath that took place at the hospital in 1986, years before Munsch bought it.
Backtracking a bit, Uncle Jesse (Dr. Holt) took Chanel on a movie date during which he groped her chest and stole an innocent movie-watcher’s Twizzlers. What did this scene tell us? That Holt actually has no control over his implanted hand and could very well be a person of interest when it comes to the Swamp Monster murders. It also tells us that a hand transplant is a viable excuse to act haphazardly (not telling you to use that excuse…but I’m not not telling you either).
The real MVP of this episode, in my opinion, is Munsch (Jamie Lee Curtis) for her golden one liners. This one was my favorite:
“From now on, when someone’s just fought off the killer and they’re about to reach down and pull off the mask and find out who it is; not the time to distract them with a bunch of questions”
That was said after her encounter with the Swamp Monster, ending with the killer making a narrow escape down the elevator in .2 seconds, right under her nose, without making the slightest bit of noise until they were gone. This is why I love Scream Queens; the closest you can get to real life encounters with serial murderers.
The rest of the episode includes features from Special Agent Denise Hemphill (Niecy Nash), who was enlisted by Munsch to help catch the killer and Kirstie Alley (Ingrid), who spent the whole episode popping pills and eavesdropping. It was Denise’s idea to visit Hester in the insane asylum to get some clues about who the killer might be (and of course, it proved unsuccessful).
Perhaps the most important discovery made last night was that Munsch opened C.U.R.E. not for the sake of killing the Chanels, but because she has been ailing from an unknown disease. At the end of the episode, it is revealed by Zayday that the disease was actually contracted by Munsch during a trip to Papua New Guinea in which she accidentally ate some (delicious) human brains at a feast (that turned out to be a funeral). She should have stuck with Activia.
As for New Girl? I’ve comprised a list of everything you need to know about the episode:
-Schmidt is waiting on Paul Ryan 2020
-Jess was just as annoying as a child
-Nick hates talking on the phone
-Meredith Palmer from the office is voting for Hillary
-Winston enjoys the long D
-Sorors love Trump
If you enjoyed Tuesday night’s primetime comedy be sure to come back every week for a recap and a page full of spoilers!